Discussion: the jerk

What a raging a-hole. I'm glad you stood your ground with him, in a civil but firm manner.

I wonder if the local race directors could ban him from all future races, since it sounds like he abuses them and their volunteers on a regular basis...

Yes Valerie, way to go. There's no place for behavior like that. I think you should have DQ'ed him but I can understand that you didn't want to have to deal with the consequences.

Sounds like good training for dealing with people like roofers and fence contractors. People like that never make me cry. They do bring me to the brink of violence, however, which is probably worse (I've never slugged a person like that, but others have). Sitting here viewing the situation from a safe distance, it seems like the cool move would have been to calmly tell him that if he didn't get out of the way, he'd be disqualified. And then to do it, in front of him, and in front of a crowd. I think this guy probably qualifies as a bully, and I've found that the most effective way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them in front of other people, so that they feel humiliated.

After years of getting along with my mother while working races, it should take quite an effort to rankle you. I am curious who it was since I assume I might know them. Trying to think of obnoxious 60+ men. Any hints.

I let this one sit all week, because I realized that putting it in writing was good, and I was actually not obsessing or feeling badly by my response to the incident - good for me. In the past, I would have felt terrible about the situation, even when I was totally in the right, and not even over-the-top with my response.

I don't think I have ever actually cried in front of any of these bullies (good term), but I do get so frustrated when I can't come up quickly with good ways to deal with it - like J-J's example, that I cry afterwards. But, like Tim said, I can put up with a whole lot.