Training Log Archive: Bash

Wild B.O.A.R. - the 3rd edition of the Best Race Money Can't Buy.

Once again, Goose prowled the lesser known nooks and crannies of Caledon, King and Vaughan to create a top notch adventure race for his friends. It's a ton of work, and the craziest thing is that this is his own birthday party.

Teams are assigned by the Race Director, ensuring that spouses are separated. This year Tiny was my assigned partner - great news indeed, as we have raced together before. Team costumes are a key part of the event, and their preparation typically takes more time than the race itself.



This year, in honour of Phatty's and Leanimal's upcoming move to France, the theme was "Europe Bound". I think the idea was that we would all dress up differently like the United Nations but I guess we're not that original since France was by far the most popular choice. Leanimal and Coach LD were French maids, 'Bent and Crash looked like a couple of movie stars, and Phatty and Biker Rob wore rude Euro short shorts in hot pink (over their tights). Both Scooby and 'Bent sported big fake moustaches... you get the idea. Costumes need to be semi-functional as sportswear since we are required to wear them for the first leg of the race - and we don't know what discipline that will be until race day.

In keeping with their French theme, 'Bent and Crash raced with a bottle of wine and a baguette.



It's impressive that Leanimal finished the race with her doily still on her head.



Tiny and I decided to dress up as Phatty and Leanimal after they've lived in Europe and sopped up the culture for awhile. We wore Salomon everything - including the white "compression shorts" favoured by Europeans but not popular in North America, for some strange reason. (Since neither of us owns such a thing, we wore tighty whitey boxer shorts with dozens of little hexagons painstakingly drawn on with a Sharpie.) We had lots of other compression wear, some real and some fake - and nice bright Euro colours. I had a long blonde fake ponytail, a tiny pack and the tow rope around my waist to haul "Phatty" off the start. Tiny had a 30L pack full of water containers with "Weeanimal" sticking out the top of it. (The doll was wearing clothes intended to be worn by Mr. and Mrs. Tiny's actual baby, who should be arriving in the next couple of weeks, so Tiny had some incentive to take care of her.) I'm holding her here before the race.





Oops, I managed to miss the start by dashing back into the house to drop off $200 sunglasses that were part of my costume. (It was too cloudy to wear them and I didn't want to lose them.) We started with a Matrix where we each ran through the subdivision to pick up a control. Then we returned to the river and put our canoes in. I remember being hypothermic last year so I put on rain pants, warm jacket and toque for the paddle - so glad I did! The Humber River is never a relaxing paddle - shallow with current, tightly twisting, lots of rocks and woody debris. I was in the stern which was a test for my injured rotator cuff. In the bow, Tiny took good care of little Weeanimal.





At one point my fake "Leanimal" long ponytail got caught in the branches of a tree overhanging the river. Hammer will laugh because I had my map and compass around my neck while paddling (not such a great idea), and the cords were tangled in the ponytail, and I nearly got strangled as the current swept me along. Luckily, the ponytail ripped off my head and I survived. I managed to grab it and reattach it to my head since it was essential to follow the race rule of staying in costume until the paddle was finished.











Racers didn't spread out much in this section, although one team took an (ahem!) illegal portage. (Btw all the portagers pictured below were legal). We saw the leaders leaving the TA so we were not far back but we left in 5th place of 6 teams.









Tiny navigated like a rockstar throughout the bike section, and we were in 1st place when we returned to the TA with two of the optional checkpoints! The biking was an interesting network of trails through the old Woodside Conservation Area which apparently was a big deal 50-60 years ago.

Thanks to last night's heavy rain, there was a lot of muck and I went down a couple of times when my front wheel slid out - including once on my injured shoulder - boo. There were some really steep hills and it was hard even to walk up them with our bikes clogged up with heavy mud and our feet sliding backwards. But mostly, the trails were fun and rideable - kinda cool since it's an area close to home where nobody thinks much about going riding.



Unfortunately, my bike wasn't shifting well at all. The mechanic had mentioned that I'd need to ride it awhile to see whether it needed a new cassette along with its new chain. Yup. When I didn't need to shift, it felt really smooth with its nice new cranks and chain.



Leanimal didn't realize you could just walk around the gate by the TA. ;)



Goose served coffee at the TA - mmm...



The car trunk aid station included homemade cookies, bananas and dark chocolate M&Ms, amongst other things.





The final section was a mostly off-trail trek/run with more optional CPs.



'Bent joined us partway through since his teammate Crash's feet had turned into blocks of ice and she thought it best to drop out. We'd planned to hit two optional CPs but missed one of them and had to move on, given the race's tight 4-hour time limit. More hill climbing, more running and a mad dash to the finish behind Tiny on a tow rope. I glanced down at my Garmin at one point and it said we were going 16.5 kph. I believed it. Goose and Mrs. Tiny stood at the finish line cheering us on and we made it... at 4 hours and 6 seconds. So we were the best ranked of all the teams that DNF'ed - which was everyone.

Amazing potluck race dinner afterward and an inspired rendition of "Happy Birthday". Great event - better than a lot of races I've paid for - and a really fun day with friends. Thank you, Goose and have a great Birthday!