Training Log Archive: iansmithIn the 1 days ending Nov 4, 2011:
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Friday Nov 4, 2011 #
Bowling 1 [1]
shoes: Dexter Ricky II Bowling
Candlepin game with the CSU crowd. Due to excessive self-reliance and overconfidence in my ability to prevail against Boston rush hour traffic, I was late and missed the first game. I bowled very poorly, consistently pulling to the left on my release. Magnus easily destroyed me; I bowled a 54. As much as mocked candlepin, it is an interesting challenge. I may test myself against it again soon, though to compare candlepin to ten-pin is to compare drunken college foosball to professional soccer. In principle the former can be approached with skill, but in practice, it's a pitiful, chaotic imitation of the beauty of the latter.
Everyone departed quickly after the game. While I considered returning to the alley to play some ten-pin strings, I was dissuaded by the 90 minute wait time, so I walked back to the T station and went home.
Everyone departed quickly after the game. While I considered returning to the alley to play some ten-pin strings, I was dissuaded by the 90 minute wait time, so I walked back to the T station and went home.
5 PM
Running 41:43 8.9 km (4:41 / km) +5m 4:41 / km
ahr:156 max:170 shoes: 201108 Asics GT-2150
Easy-ish run around the river. I ran with some haste, as I needed to drop off NEOC e-punch equipment with Jeff Schapiro before bowling.
For much of my life, I have sought to maximize my individual competence, aptitude, and ability to accomplish objectives, endure hardship, and excel - more generally, strength. Such a goal follows naturally from an enthusiasm for challenges, and competition is a tool for honing and developing strength. I wonder now how I arrived at this goal, at this purpose. I have a habit of observing attributes, behaviors, and nuances in others that I find admirable and synthesizing them into my own life. That doesn't explain why I found strength admirable.
There are many examples of heroic characters in literature who exhibit resilience and so overcome hardship. Strength is at times exemplified in mental acuity, physical or emotional resilience, stamina against hardship, discipline, and so on; strength is the ability to overcome stresses, resistance, or obstacles to a goal. Consider Frodo from Lord of the Rings, who perseveres on his journey to destroy the ring. Consider Jedi Knights, the swiss-army-knife of heroic characters, able to resolve any conflict or face any adversary. Consider Howard Roark or Dagny Taggert of Ayn Rand's works, the embodiment of her ideal human, driven to excel by force of will against a society resistant to exceptionalism. Jean Valjean from Les Misérables, a man of both prodigious physical strength, immense discipline, and moral fortitude to grapple with his inner demons. Neo from The Matrix. Herb Brooks from Miracle, who drives his team by force of will. Hiccup and Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. The hero from Ein Heldenleben.
For much of my life, I have wanted to be the hero, the champion, the crusader who prevails against the appropriate set of challenges. As a musician, that meant being the best horn player able to nail clutch solo parts. As a student, that meant mastering any test, any intellectual problem or challenge, and helping others through their difficulties. As a friend, that meant being a pillar on which my other friends could rely for aid in times of hardship and camaraderie in general. We do not in general choose the sequence of events that constitute our lives; all we can do is choose how we act given those events. A hero has the strength to absorb any sequence of events and still achieve great things.
While I think this approach has potential - preparedness and resilience maximize our utility given the inevitable hardships of life and the challenges we face, the folly is obvious if this propensity for individual strength incurs excessive or obsessive self-reliance in lieu of getting help. It is more admirable to lead and to consolidate a team to achieve a goal than to battle to the point of exhaustion against almost insurmountable goals. There is a time for heroics, but particularly when challenges can be anticipated, they must be met with suitable allocations of labor and attention, usually from more than one person.
This is not a great revelation to me, but seldom has my pursuit of individual strength backfired so completely as it has in recent months. Given the potential negative utility costs of soliciting help from the unwilling, I'm not overly surprised I have found it easier to rely on my own abilities rather than be a nuisance seeking aid. But this solution is untenable; I must find balance.
For much of my life, I have sought to maximize my individual competence, aptitude, and ability to accomplish objectives, endure hardship, and excel - more generally, strength. Such a goal follows naturally from an enthusiasm for challenges, and competition is a tool for honing and developing strength. I wonder now how I arrived at this goal, at this purpose. I have a habit of observing attributes, behaviors, and nuances in others that I find admirable and synthesizing them into my own life. That doesn't explain why I found strength admirable.
There are many examples of heroic characters in literature who exhibit resilience and so overcome hardship. Strength is at times exemplified in mental acuity, physical or emotional resilience, stamina against hardship, discipline, and so on; strength is the ability to overcome stresses, resistance, or obstacles to a goal. Consider Frodo from Lord of the Rings, who perseveres on his journey to destroy the ring. Consider Jedi Knights, the swiss-army-knife of heroic characters, able to resolve any conflict or face any adversary. Consider Howard Roark or Dagny Taggert of Ayn Rand's works, the embodiment of her ideal human, driven to excel by force of will against a society resistant to exceptionalism. Jean Valjean from Les Misérables, a man of both prodigious physical strength, immense discipline, and moral fortitude to grapple with his inner demons. Neo from The Matrix. Herb Brooks from Miracle, who drives his team by force of will. Hiccup and Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. The hero from Ein Heldenleben.
For much of my life, I have wanted to be the hero, the champion, the crusader who prevails against the appropriate set of challenges. As a musician, that meant being the best horn player able to nail clutch solo parts. As a student, that meant mastering any test, any intellectual problem or challenge, and helping others through their difficulties. As a friend, that meant being a pillar on which my other friends could rely for aid in times of hardship and camaraderie in general. We do not in general choose the sequence of events that constitute our lives; all we can do is choose how we act given those events. A hero has the strength to absorb any sequence of events and still achieve great things.
While I think this approach has potential - preparedness and resilience maximize our utility given the inevitable hardships of life and the challenges we face, the folly is obvious if this propensity for individual strength incurs excessive or obsessive self-reliance in lieu of getting help. It is more admirable to lead and to consolidate a team to achieve a goal than to battle to the point of exhaustion against almost insurmountable goals. There is a time for heroics, but particularly when challenges can be anticipated, they must be met with suitable allocations of labor and attention, usually from more than one person.
This is not a great revelation to me, but seldom has my pursuit of individual strength backfired so completely as it has in recent months. Given the potential negative utility costs of soliciting help from the unwilling, I'm not overly surprised I have found it easier to rely on my own abilities rather than be a nuisance seeking aid. But this solution is untenable; I must find balance.