You are setting new goals for my course setting.
Buy a Jeep Wrangler and refuse to leave it during all aspects of meet directing.
Or just design a new event:
AUT-O: All controls within reach of pavement. Penalty for putting your travel coffee mug back in the cup holder.
There's already a sport like that, even more obscure than ours:
They should call it adventure rallying, coat everyone with mud, and throw some glitter around. Instant success.