Discussion: What do you have in your luggage?

Don't knock Odessa (TX) until you've tried it. For one, there's the oil. For another, there's all the cattle ranching. For a third, it's in West Texas, and how are you going to beat that?

Only two things come from West Texas: Steers and, more steers.

Hmm. I always thought it was steers and queers...

Thats Oklahoma.

There is also the Odessa Crater. It rocks!

Excellent! Steers, more steers and some space rocks. Here's a picture of all three in one view. This is a pretty typical view of west Texas. Wyoming is similar, but there are fewer space rocks.

It's been a long held and popular theory that cowboys like iron meteorites best, and this lends more creedence to the theory.

I'm also pretty sure that many of Odessa's finest make it a point to go baltering every Friday night during the winter months. But not in the summer. It gets too hot for that kind of thing then.

Indeed, the woolly mammoths are a nuisance in all of Texas. We had a family of them living in the crawl space under our house. We caught them in traps and released them out in the country.

I plan to go Baltering as soon as I figure out how to do it. I'm going to ask around at the FLO event to get some pointers.

Tom - I appreciate your enthusiasm. Everyone should balter more. But I hope you aren't disappointed. You can balter but you will never balter. It's just the way things are...

I suppose that by definintion only a Balter can truly said to be Baltering. Still, might not just trying to Balter, by focussing on the process of Baltering, might not that be beneficial? Or could it be that those who aren't a Balter will just hurt themselves by trying.

I think there is merit in pursing baltering, but ultimately, we are all pretenders. Balter is our bodhisattva. The process we must go through is one of lifelong simplification, purification, adulteration, complication, and frustration. We may achieve enlightenment, so far as that goes, but must give up so much along the way.

I, too, wish to rise above samsara, but many times I find myself mired in a swamp.

eh odessa, zemchiuzyna u moria...

Thank you, Clem, I'm flattered.

You still need to tell me about your import/export ventures.

Isn't that obvious? Greg Balter baltered some balters when baltering back with his balting in the baltplane back to Baltersville.

Balter means "to carr" in Texan, that's what I learned in English class. It changes its meaning in a rather mathematical way, e.g. carring can mean hunting mammoths under the house and log it on Attackpoint, or it means cruising on a sheet of blank water with a row boat.

I don't know about that Daniel. Best as I can figure, I haven't come close to doing any proper Baltering and so I don't think your analogy works. And as Clem has pointed out, the best we can do is try. So while I may do a good bit of Carring, it doesn't sound as good as Baltering and for sure isn't the same thing.

O! Baltering-mania in progress :)

The other thing about Baltering and baltering that I do know is that it admits to no rigid definitions. However, it remains a tractable, definable concept. Resolving what it is and what it is not is beyond me. Only by allusion to Balter may we gain wisdom and understanding.

lol

Ooooooo, sounds like there is some sort of uncertainty principal involved.

Indeed there is--it is a fully multi-faceted uncertainty. That is an incisive observation; it strikes at the heart of the matter.

I don't know if there will be another World Culvert Crawling Championships at this year's 1000 Day or not (fools rush in!), but if there is, and if Greg is in attendance, perhaps he can show us how one properly balterizes a culvert, even if it isn't in Odessa or even West Texas. And thus do I pay homage to the balter, and beg that I am not worthy.

in balter we trust

I think we can all see where this is going. We can therefore dispense with further formalities, and recognize that Greg, as a savvy and worldly traveler, and familiar with the beguiling mysteries of Odessa, a bonvivant and, to some, even a confidant, has surely earned and is richly deserving of the honorific: Hidalgo de Baltero. Of course, it might be truthfully pointed out that he does live in NYC, but, alas, no man is perfect.

It is only a matter of time before some woman claims him as her just reward.

But has this already happened? I have sensed a disruption in the Force.

Let the wisdom and harmony of Baltering be with you! Amen!

Here is a party in my log and I am not invited!
To answer some curious questions: my import - export venture is going well, but it required some capital injection, so that's why I went there to make sure my money are well placed. In the process I managed to get sick twice, loose and recover my wallet. I am taking it easy for now, no more vacations like this one.

That is nice, but aren't things sufficiently well capitalized by now? It is time to start importing the goods!

Yes, I promise to take part in second not anual World Culvert Crawling Championships, if, in fact, it will take place in only spot it can be held - the plains of Wyoming.

To j-man - this a very delicate covert-up operation and one must not rush.

Dude, rush? If I were more into geology I may regard time in a similar fashion.

Anyway, you're coming to the VG2? You could try to explain yourself then.

I thought you were into geology - where else one could dig out some of the words you use at times ;-)

Ugh! Did Eddie write that one?

What a comedian!

Hey! Oh wait.
yeah.

I already mentioned it before - Baltering includes using thesaurus and Encyclopedia Britannica at least three times while reading each of Swampfox's ot j-man's passages :)

It's worse: Baltering appears in major dictionaries. It has been used by Auden (how could he know? Talk about anticipating future word inventions)

"Two examples of major writers who pillaged OED and other dictionaries for material are W. H. Auden and James Joyce. Auden is quoted 766 times in the Supplement, sometimes for eccentric usages like baltering, soodling, apotropaic."
http://oed.hertford.ox.ac.uk/main/content/view/59/...

Or check out some present literature, part of a pretty wild text (please do not ask me to explain it).

"and the cops are breaking up a futilitarian meeting with firecrackers
spooking the pigeons pecking at the bones of an old woman who took a
chill on a warm summers evening and the demersal homeless are
scattered by our flashlights baltering past priests defrocked for
possession of surface to heaven weaponry,
http://dogmatika.com/dm/features_more.php?id=1005_...

Enough of that stuff, research being the best excuse for a writer to spend time on work and not working.

!!! This is scandalous! It's a revelation. I'm going to ponder the meaning of this.

So it seems like the definition in the formal dictionaries is "to stick together." The etymology seems suspicious to me.

Anyway, the panopoly of ideas which is balter obviously encompasses this definition. But, remember, Balter is greater than words, however artfully arranged. Auden is to be commended for anticipating the Coming, but he did not realize the full import of what he wrote.

Are we to understand from Hidalgo de Baltero that the getting of Russian/Ukrainian brides technically falls under the rubric of an import-export business? And that venture capital is involved??

I wonder if it would be possible for our and your tax guru, the Mr. Taxman himself, Peter Gagarin, to supply the IRS business identification code for such a venture? Because some taxes are definitely going to have to be levied if a Balterized suitcase or transport system has been involved.

Careful, Mr. Swampfox. Balter may not brook the interference of inquisitors into these illicit enterprises.

I was relying on his forbearance, but that is perhaps unwise?

I used thesaurus to look for the next words:
revelation
etymology
panopoly
rubric
venture
guru
IRS
inquisitors
illicit
forbearance

Pure baltering :)

Mr. Taxman is too busy to participate in such unserious matter, like having a party in someone's training log. As far as means of transportation of above mentioned goods, Mr. Swampfox was not far from the truth, this option was discussed at one point, but we opted for a fishing pole and 5 000 miles of fishing line. So if you see in my log in the future something like this "fishing out of Montauk Point", you will know what it is all about.

Montauk. Aren't those Pepperidge Farms cookies?

Mr. Taxman would just like to remind GB that there are both good and bad possibilities here. On the plus side, fishing gear, even 5,000 miles of line, is deductible for tax purposes when used for business purposes. But keep in mind, that for all the nefarious stuff he did, Al Capone eventually got nailed for tax evasion.

My taxes are done with aid of Z-man - we will go to jail together, but he is good at that, so chances of that are slim.

Tax time :( I wonder if preparing tax return forms is being considered a form of baltering :) Oh, I got it - they should be done by z-man!

One of the all time best songs is "Taxman" (Harrison). I checked with my tax attorney and he assures me this isn't baltering, though I am less sure than he is.

did someone say taxes?

what is it about?